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Popular: The Power of Likability in a Status-Obsessed World, by Mitch Prinstein
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A leading psychologist examines how our popularity affects our success, our relationships, and our happiness—and why we don’t always want to be the most popular
No matter how old you are, there’s a good chance that the word “popular” immediately transports you back to your teenage years. Most of us can easily recall the adolescent social cliques, the high school pecking order, and which of our peers stood out as the most or the least popular teens we knew. Even as adults we all still remember exactly where we stood in the high school social hierarchy, and the powerful emotions associated with our status persist decades later. This may be for good reason.
Popular examines why popularity plays such a key role in our development and, ultimately, how it still influences our happiness and success today. In many ways—some even beyond our conscious awareness—those old dynamics of our youth continue to play out in every business meeting, every social gathering, in our personal relationships, and even how we raise our children. Our popularity even affects our DNA, our health, and our mortality in fascinating ways we never previously realized. More than childhood intelligence, family background, or prior psychological issues, research indicates that it’s how popular we were in our early years that predicts how successful and how happy we grow up to be.
But it’s not always the conventionally popular people who fare the best, for the simple reason that there is more than one type of popularity—and many of us still long for the wrong one. As children, we strive to be likable, which can offer real benefits not only on the playground but throughout our lives. In adolescence, though, a new form of popularity emerges, and we suddenly begin to care about status, power, influence, and notoriety—research indicates that this type of popularity hurts us more than we realize.
Realistically, we can’t ignore our natural human social impulses to be included and well-regarded by others, but we can learn how to manage those impulses in beneficial and gratifying ways. Popular relies on the latest research in psychology and neuroscience to help us make the wisest choices for ourselves and for our children, so we may all pursue more meaningful, satisfying, and rewarding relationships.
- Sales Rank: #91855 in Books
- Published on: 2017-06-06
- Released on: 2017-06-06
- Original language: English
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .72" w x 6.00" l,
- Binding: Hardcover
- 288 pages
Review
“It turns out that there’s more to popularity than status. This book didn’t just capture my attention; it also helped me understand why I wasn’t cool as a kid, why I’m still not today, and why I shouldn’t care.”
—Adam Grant,�New York Times�bestselling author of Originals and Give and Take
“Fascinating, well-researched, and accessible, Popular will make you rethink every social interaction you’ve had since high school, and help you find greater success and happiness. Read this book, and you’ll never think about popularity the same way again.”
—Susan Cain, New York Times bestselling author of Quiet
“Is popularity overrated? Maybe not—especially if it’s the right kind of popularity that we seek. In Mitch Prinstein’s fascinating book, you’ll learn all about the benefits and pitfalls of being popular and how to make popularity work for you in business and in life.”
—Daniel H. Pink, New York Times�bestselling�author�of To Sell Is Human and Drive
“Popular�will show you how to build strong emotional appeal that enables you to stand out from the crowd and wildly succeed. �More than ever, this book’s advice is important to parents, future leaders and go-getters everywhere.”
—Tim Sanders, New York Times�bestselling�author of�The Likeability Factor�and�Love Is the Killer App: How To Win Business and Influence Friends
“Popular�deserves to be! A delightful and insightful analysis of the longing that makes us human.”
—Daniel Gilbert,�New York Times bestselling�author�of�Stumbling on Happiness
“Were you popular as a kid? You no doubt have an answer to that, but Mitch Prinstein wants you to have two: Status is one thing, and likability quite another. The origins of both types of popularity are the topic of this singularly fascinating, extraordinarily well-written book. I read it cover to cover and learned as much about the science as I did about myself.”
—Angela Duckworth, New York Times bestselling author of Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance
“We have all imprinted emotionally on the vicissitudes of our teenage years.� Mitch Prinstein, in this compelling, page-turner, tells us why and also how we can shed the skins of our adolescence. Even better he tells us how our children can achieve meaningful popularity. A science-based Dale Carnegie.”
—Martin E. P. Seligman, New York Times�bestselling�author of Authentic Happiness and Learned Optimism
“Who does not want to be more popular? When is that quest not in our best interest? Read Mitch Prinstein’s fascinating new book�Popular�to discover new views on this vitally important topic.�Popular�offers a brilliant take on a largely misunderstood subject, shedding light on the type of popularity we crave versus the type that will improve our lives.�Based on provocative psychological research,�Popular�will change how you think about your adolescence, your current relationships today, and ultimately help you become more truly happy in the future.”
—Phil Zimbardo, New York Times�bestselling�author of�The Lucifer Effect
“People seek happiness in all aspects of their lives and the quest to be popular is among the most common pursuits. We seek status and gratification from the crowd we run with, the stuff we buy, the street where we live, and the size of our bank account. Mitch Prinstein’s Popular is a perceptive and inspiring examination of how these aims pale in comparison to the power of genuine, lasting social relationships.”
—Sonja Lyubomirsky, professor, University of California, Riverside and author of The How of Happiness
“It is hard to imagine a more important book for the popularity-obsessed times in which we are living. Few scientists understand popularity better than Mitch Prinstein, and no one has ever done a better job of explaining its nature, origins, and significance.”
—Laurence Steinberg, author of Age of Opportunity and�You and Your Adolescent
About the Author
Mitch Prinstein is the John Van Seters Distinguished Professor of Psychology and the Director of Clinical Psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. He and his research have been featured in The New York Times, The�Wall Street Journal, National Public Radio, the�Los Angeles Times, CNN, U.S. News & World Report, Time magazine, New York magazine, Newsweek, Reuters, Family Circle, Real Simple, and elsewhere.
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